In this class so far we continue to dissect the importance of being aware of the world around us and the relationship we create with self and the world. As human beings we are meant to accept, love and honor the life that was given to us, not question why we are put on this earth. With talking about rape and how this disturbing act can be possible for a human, Its important to question why our creator put on on this earth to experience such terrible things. In Myriam Gurba’s memoir, “Mean,” she recounts her experience of being sexually assaulted by a man she did not know. While this particular incident does not directly involve the idea of rape with God, it highlights a larger societal issue of sexual violence against women. In some mythologies and religious traditions, the gods are depicted as having sexual relationships with humans or other divine beings. In some cases, religious texts have been used to justify or excuse sexual violence, particularly against women. For example The story of Dinah is a account of sexual violence against a woman in the book of Genesis. The story has been used to justify or excuse sexual violence against women. Our world was created on ideas that things like sexual assault and violence are not morally wrong. I believe that’s why our world now is so disconnected to what we deem is right and wrong.
The section “Hella Ukiyo-e” in Myriam Gurba’s memoir “Mean” is a powerful way of expressing themes such as sexual violence, humor, art and justice that run throughout the book. The term “ukiyo-e” refers to a genre of Japanese woodblock prints that were popular during the Edo period (1603-1868). “Hella” is a colloquial term that is commonly used in Northern California, where Gurba grew up, and it means “a lot” or “very.” Many ukiyo-e artists were considered to be outsiders, and their work often depicted marginalized groups such as women and lower-class individuals. These prints often depicted scenes of everyday life, such as landscapes and portraits. By combining these two meanings, I interpreted it as Gurba Creating a juxtaposition between what we are unable to see and what we don’t see in our society.
Omnipresence is defined to be a person that is present in all places at one time. In the section “Omnipresent” the reality of the world we live in is scary and unpredictable. Going to school she was watched by her teacher while being sexually assaulted, after her experiences anytime she walks out the door it’s like walking out onto a battlefield. Do you think Gurba woke up and chose to be sexually assaulted? The real pain comes after your trauma. The scene where Gurba is in the grocery store with her mother shows that people never fully get over their trauma after it happens. She is scared because she convinced herself she saw her rapist and describes it as “I came back to my body almost immediately as I left it when I realized the shopper was not him” (Gurba 125) The way I see it, it’s a feeling that shadows over you like a dark cloud. When you go through something that strips you of who you are and makes you question everything. You constantly live in a world surrounded by fear. I chose to focus on the chapter “Omnipresent” because it captures the reality of sexual assault. It starts off with comparing god to someone who is always present in our lives, he shadows over us and watches over us. God is seen as an all-knowing, all-powerful, and loving creator who is the source of all life and existence. So it’s hard for us to absorb when bad things happen because we were created from love and acceptance. But the point Gurba is trying to make is being aware that just because we were created from a good place doesn’t mean that the world is necessarily safe. “God is like rape. Rape is everywhere too. Rape is in the air. Rape is in the sky. Rape is in the bible” (Gurba 110) This felt almost uncomfortable to read because i would never associate the two words “rape” and “god” together. But Gurba does this to show her readers you never realize true pain until it happens to you. “A stranger chose me to rape” ( Gurba 110) The quote reflects the sense of violation and powerlessness that Gurba felt in the face of the stranger’s actions. By using the word “chose,” Gurba is highlighting the fact that the rapist made a deliberate decision to target her, emphasizing the intentional nature of the harm that was done to her. Gurba struggles with absorbing why she was chosen as a victim of rape. She’s in a constant state of “why me?”. Even the creator of our earth can’t protect us from the evil that comes with it.
Discussion questions
- Have you ever experienced something that was so traumatic it felt like an out of body experience? If so, what was it and how did you cope with it? How did you feel reading the way Gurba is coping with her trama?
- Do you think Gurbas purpose for comparing god to rape is something that is far fetched or do you think it clears up the reality that bad things in our world happen no matter who or what created us?
Citations
Gurba, Myriam. Mean, Coffee House Press, La Vergne, TN, 2017, pp. 110–126.
“Who Is the Victim in the Dinah Story?” TheTorah.com, https://www.thetorah.com/article/who-is-the-victim-in-the-dinah-story.
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Hello Deanna! I thought your blog post took an insightful new outlook on the book “Mean” by Gurba. I enjoyed how you defined the term “ukiyo-e” in your blog post, as that was a very important chapter, along with chapters “Hella”, and “Omnipresence” mentioned throughout your post. To answer your first discussion question, yes I have experienced something traumatic that felt like an out-of-body experience. I was roofied last year, and as I don’t remember that night, the aftermath of that night is something very significant and traumatic for me. Waking up across from my mom, in the hospital I would say is a low point for me. I’m embarrassed about something in my control yet at the same time completely out of it. I felt stripped of myself and taken advantage of. As I was grateful that the night could’ve ended a lot worse and it didn’t, I just wish that it could’ve been something that I never had to experience at all. Accepting what had happened to me was hard, I struggled with feeling good about myself, and having fun when I go out. When Gurba refers to one of the men who took advantage of her she refers to him as “average”. “The man standing behind me looked so average it horrified me.”(Gurba 154). Reading this resonated with me as I imagined the person who roofied me was someone I probably was around that night and didn’t think twice of. The scary part about average is that it’s inescapable. How can you look for someone who has multiple faces? Gurba makes this connection, and poses a similar question about rape and inescapability, by relating rape to God.
Hi Deanna, I thought your post was great. When you made the connection between “rape” and God” it had me thinking as to why Gurba was make such a connection. I tried to think from a different perspective as to why Gurba would do that but I couldn’t until I read your post. For the second question you asked, I think that the relationship between god and rape is farfetched and unnecessary. There are many other ways to relate rape to and I dont think that using God was the best one to explain the importance of the action. “God is like rape. Rape is everywhere too. Rape is in the air. Rape is in the sky. Rape is in the bible” (110). I think that using god in this text is wrong because unlike rape which is a horrible thing, God is someone that you look towards for direction and protection in your life, you don’t necessarily fear God like you fear rape and I think correlating the two is not the best way to explain rape.
Hi Deanna, your post really made me think about Gurba’s experiences and why she made the connections that she made. Your post did a great job at describing the terrible things that Gurba faced and the connections she ties with her trauma. After reading your post, especially the end, I really had to sit back and think about why she made the connection to god, until I truly understood the meaning. Although it is a strange comparison to compare god and rape, it has a very powerful meaning behind it. Gurba is stating that rape is everywhere just like god is and that can be interpreted that there is just as much evil as there is good no matter where you are. As stated by Gurba, “You understand that you live in a world where getting classically raped is possible and that classical rapist lurk everywhere, even in impossible places.” (Gurba 111). God is everywhere so that must mean good is everywhere, but with good comes evil. If good is everywhere it is only reasonable to understand that so is evil.
Hello Deanna, your post was truly insightful and clearly dissected the manner in which Gurba’s relationship with sexual assault reflect other relationships such as her connection with God. To answer your second question, Gurba expresses that God is something that surrounds us like you quoted but this goes beyond that. In this manner, God can be a presence that is suffocating and since many believe that “everything happens for a reason” there is a misunderstanding between the struggles that all must face to grow and the cruelty one faces such as rape. In all honesty, this reaction is familiar and only gives an outlook on the inner thoughts of other survivors of similar abuse. Many look for a reason, feel that they have been failed and wonder questions like why “a stranger chose me to rape” (Gurba 10). Here the me is italicized to promote a uniqueness and accentuates the word. In the quote she is following the discussion about God and questions whether being raped makes her special or if it strips her of humanity. This is unique because she is almost twisting it in such manner where she can feel untouchable, wanted and divine that somebody wanted her so much that they needed to take advantage. I find it intense but after the discussion of God, it feels that she is questioning the manner in which he works as well as why she specifically would have to deal with something like this.
Hi Deanna! I really enjoyed your blog post, I felt that you took a nuanced approach to the topic and considered Gurba’s words from multiple different angles. To answer your discussion question, I have had a traumatic experience that was similar to Gurba’s, and I related strongly to the way that she described coping. I know the feeling of seeing someone and immediately having the wind knocked out of you, it’s like everything around you is happening underwater and it truly is an out of body experience. The line “I came back to my body almost immediately as I left it when I realized the shopper was not him” (125) resonated with me strongly because that feeling can leave just as quickly as it came once you feel safe again. You talked about living in fear and with a shadow over your head after something like this happens, and that really is true. I don’t feel defined by what has happened to me and I try not to allow it to have a lasting impact, but I would be lying if I said I do not still fear running into this person years later. Unfortunately, that fear does not seem to be something that goes away, but it does get better and I felt seen by the way that Gurba coped with this.
Hello Deanna! I love how you incorporated the overall theme of our curriculum so far. Our relationship with the world and society as a human being. I feel that it is a common question that arises in which, If God or our creator is so great, why does he put us through such cruelty? That is a discussion you have brought to our attention. I feel that our creator is intended to be with us through those challenges and traumatic experiences, if life was perfect, would it be worth living? This is not to say rape or sexual assault is okay by any means. The emotional baggage that one carries with them due to traumatic intense events is real. When one goes through a traumatizing experience, they may dissociate or in other words force themselves to feel as though they are not present. Throughout this section in the reading I came across a line that read, “Numbness replaced the volcano I’d been in seconds before”(Gurba 122). This describes the phonenia someone may go through while experiencing rape or any undesired, horrifying experience. I have endured traumatic experiences and I have practiced dissociation and praying to feel safe again, which contrite this concept of God being involved in rape. This arose a thought within me of pre marital sex being a sin, so how would God “be” rape… There are indeed evil, disgusting people in our world but I also do feel it is rather easy to blame something that you cannot see. Your closing sentence holds a lot of power in that, we are indeed victims of the cruelty this world holds, and suffering is inevitable, as even our creator cannot create a divide between good and evil but this does not mean we should lose hope and blame our creator but rather lean on them and pray for a light in the darkness.
Hey Deanna I loved your analysis of the book thus far. I agree that the way the author tends to use verbiage like god and rape together suggest that there is a connection. I do find it strange that the author who so despises the idea of the rape she has endured would give the action a god complex. Normally people view god as an almighty power that can influence the lives of many. I find it weird that Gurba would equate power and divinity to the gruesome and traumatic actions of a rapist. Whitest I think it’s weird I could also see why Gurba would choose to equate rape which changed the way that she lives to religion changing the way someone acts. Both are molds that shape the human soul wether it be in a positive or negative direction. For instance when Gurba says
“ Everything is reborn. Everything takes on a new hue, the color of rape”(111). Rape makes a person see things through a new constricted lense attributing to the constant fear that surrounds them.
Hi Deanna! I really enjoyed your blog post and your effort to personally connect with us as readers. Your post provokes one to make a personal and emotional connection with Gurba’s trauma and the way she decides to describe it. When reading the way Gurba copes with her trauma though humor expressed in the book, I was a bit puzzled at first. How could something so traumatic be described in this way I’d think? The use of humor definitely makes it easier for me to read and lightens the seriousness of the topic and situations that occurred. This made me think that incorporating humor, Gurba was able to tell her story in a way that may have been easier for her to express and share as well. To answer your second question, I think that Gurba’s comparison of God to rape holds a strong and powerful meaning behind it. The way in which I interpreted this comparison was that God is pictured to be with you at all times, guiding you, watching over you, and protecting you. As much as this “good” exists in reality so does the “bad” which in this comparison rape is used to represent the bad and the split reality between good and evil in this world. “A stranger chose me to rape” (Gurba 10). The traumas that rape inflicts on a person follows them forever and I think that the comparison also represents this idea.
Hi Deanna, I really liked your blog post. I liked how you pointed out that Gurba had talked about how rape and sexual assault have affected her other relationships. She talks about god and how her relationship is affected because of the sexual assault. Most people who believe in god believe that he does everything for a reason. many people who go through rape or sexual assault feel that god has failed them.“a stranger chose me to rape” (Gurba 10) this quote helps show this because god made a stranger rape her and god chose her to be raped. This is a hard thing to think about and would affect the relationship with god insanely.
Hi Deanna, this analysis is great and I love how you drew attention to Gurba’s comparisons of real life experiences and religion. In regards to your discussion question on how Gurba directly correlates God and the act of rape, I think it is not far fetched, and because of the prevalence of these tragedies creates a contradiction in this belief. Often, God is correlated with control, and destiny. When traumatic events like rape and sexual assault occur, when looking at it through a religious lens, the victim is forced to come to terms with this as destiny, as something that was a part of their path and meant to happen to them. Gurba says, “After a stranger ambushes you and assails your private parts, everything becomes new. Everything is reborn. Everything takes on a new hue, the color of rape” (111.) What she means by ‘new hue’ is that their lives are permanently altered. They now live in constant fear and discomfort, and they are forced to carry this around with them for the rest of their lives. In a similar fashion, God is carried around with us like this too. She is saying that these presences cause conflicting feelings because one is a major traumatic event and one is supposed to be a guide and beam of hope, but He didn’t stop this event, and He cannot stop it occurring all around the globe, and that forces people to look at things through a different perspective.
Great close reading here, Natalie.
5/5
Hi Deanna! I really enjoyed reading your blog post and thought you had some very insightful ideas. I loved the fact that you brought our attention to religion and the connections Gurba makes between God and rape. To answer your second question, I think that Gurba comparing God to rape is an extreme shock, but I can also see why she makes the connection. People view God as the creator of everything in existence, which must mean everything good in the world has been created by God, so shouldn’t that mean he has created everything bad as well. With that said it is clear to see why the connection between God and rape is made. Gurba wrote, “You understand that you live in a world where getting classically raped is possible and that classical rapists lurk everywhere” (Gurba 111). If rape exists in a world that God has created, then God must have created rape. If rapists exist in a world God has created, then God must have created those rapists. A lot of people also turn to God for a sense of security and peace. During extremely hard times people tend to pray for God to help them or for him to fix their problems and I think when that doesn’t work or their prayers are “ignored” is when people begin to lose their faith, they begin to lose hope.